Everyone has one of THOSE days - mine just happened to be today. You must understand, I am usually immune to having bad days. I always try to find the silver lining, "a stain on my outfit - I needed a new one anyway," "breast cancer - it will be my opportunity to reshape my figure." A bit extreme, I know, but I have been accused of being a Pollyanna. But not today.
The reality of my reality is always at the back of my mind; shoved back pretty far, but an annoying whisper,nonetheless. Add to that some pressure to find "missing documents" needed to file our taxes, due tomorrow, that only I can put my hands on. Hubby is too busy at work and doesn't know my complex/disorganized filing system. I'm doing fine. I can do this AND my job and still be chipper. I take my daughter to a college visit and stupidly leave my cell phone for 5 minutes unattended. Yep, it was stolen.
That was the icing on the cake I never wanted. My thoughts went from hatred of the individual who thought it was okay to steal a phone, to fears of getting into all my personal stuff - names, passwords, calendar, notes, my life. I spent a big chunk of my day doing damage control cancelling things and changing passwords. Most likely, the chump just threw away my SIM card and inserted his own - upgrading to a nicer phone. But I don't know for sure.
When my boss walked into my office, I greeted him with a "Mike, I'm having a bad day. I lost my phone and I want to tear someone's head off." Needless to say, he avoided me. Smart man. He saw a storm brewing and knew to take cover until it passed.
Having something stolen was more hurtful to me than having cancer. Cancer was an accident I couldn't avoid. I don't smoke. I exercise and eat healthy foods. One friend calls me Mother Earth - for God's sake, I've made my own cheese before! This was an accident that I, and many other good women, don't deserve but must bear the burden. But the person who chose to steal did it on purpose, with no regard to the worry, fears and expense they inflicted on me. I don't get it.
Later - after I cancelled my account and bought a new phone, my head cleared. It's really an awful state to be miseraable all day. I don't think I can do that again. While opening a pile of mail, I found cards filled with outpourings of love and prayers from friends and family. I wasn't expecting that.
When life knocks you down, it's the people you love that help you back up.